There is a time when you admit defeat.  You don’t always do it, and you don’t do it if it can be avoided.  If you do have to admit defeat, do it gracefully, humbly and quietly.

We all get in over our heads, we all do things that we think are right at the time and will land us in the places we need to go.  But in reality, that doesn’t always happen.  Most of the time what happens is we lack the foresight to see the true implications of our decisions.  We lack the common sense to see all of the possible scenarios; we see instead what we want to see and how we imagine it turning it out.

Do we succeed?  98 3/4th guaranteed! 

Except for sometimes we don’t.

And when we don’t, how do we conduct ourselves?  How do we rise from the ashes?  Do we go to bed early, with a full belly, and wake up ready to face the day and our mistakes?

Do we hide?  Or do we take refuge and scream to the storm as it bends us in half that we will not break, we will not falter, we will not surrender?

I choose to not surrender.

I choose to fight.

I choose to be the Zebra Unicorn Warrior Princess I know I am.

And because of that, I know I will live to fight another day.  I know that my transgressions, my mistakes, my lapses in judgement, have all landed me at a place where I felt helpless, where I literally lied in a hospital bed and wondered where I was going to go when I was discharged because I was pretty sure I was homeless and without food.

And yet, I fight.  I stand and I roar and I curse and I scream as tears stream from my eyes, determined to stand in the eye of the storm and come out stronger.

I suck at making decisions, oh boy do I suck, but the good thing about me is that once I make the decision, I usually am pretty good about sticking with it.  The true agony lies in the decision making part, not in the follow through.

Thinking this decision through, I hope it is the best one for me.  I don’t exactly have the best track record, I am not the 98 3/4th guaranteed.

I pray about it, I seek counsel.  I look to the Scripture, I look to my family.

And I find love.

I find support.

I find understanding and patience.

And I know then, that no matter how hard the storm rages, no matter how loud the wind may howl and the trees may bend, I will survive.

I walk through the valley of the shadows because I fear no evil. I fear no evil for the Lord is my shepherd, my guide, and he will take me to higher pastures and he will ensure my safety.  I am his sheep, his flock, and under his watchful eye I will flourish!

For it is only in the name of love and purity of heart that goodness survives.  We must turn our eyes towards the transgressions, we must see what others do not want to see and tell the world that we will not stand for this… we will not stand for mediocrity and complacency and turning a blind eye.

We stand with the poor, the sick, the hungry.  We will shelter them, clothe them and feed them.

And then…

And then we shall inherit the Earth.

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